Amen to the Men

Today: I finish work at 6, I am so pleased to be out of there, I walk over to the street where my car is parked. The bitter cold air is bleeding me. I hurry and get into the car but there's something wrong. The steering is all strange and I cannot steer, oh bollocks, I bet the tyre is flat. I pull over and my thoughts are confirmed when I see my flacid tyre is as flat as a witches tit. Naturally I call Ronnie, who only lives down the road and he sends his step father over who's a mechanic. I wait outside the car in the freezing temperatures, feeling useless, I open the boot to find the jack, a spare tyre and a screw driver-type thingy. I examine the jack, how does this work I ponder? and begin twisting the lever thingy. Cannot make it go up or down so I may as well just wait. My knight in greasy armour arrives faster than a super hero on speed. And within ten minutes flat after some jacking and screwing, alas! my car was now mobile again. I drove home with the pleasures of the heater on full, pounding into my face and down to my frozen feet. I felt secure in the world knowing that men exist. Not only can men repair flat tyres but have marvellous cocks as well. What amazing qualities I slightly envied, but it was a endearing warm thought and I smiled in my heart as I drove slightly over the speed limit. So I want to tribute this post to all the wonderful men that mend flat tyres and have nice cocks. Amen, thank the lord for each and every one of you.