Phone Sex Gone Bad

I had just finished in a 10 year relationship just shortly before I met Ken and I was keen to experiment and was really up for some fun. I felt like a horny parrot that had, had her wings un-clipped.

I still felt reckless when my short affair ended with Ken and for a while I was acting like those 30 something woman you see out on the town, the ones that always dominate the centre of the dance floor when Gloria Gaynor’s “I will survive” beats through the speakers and the words “Just Divorced” and “I’m single lets have sex” obviously screams out of them.

The dance floor was not the place for me then, I was still addicted to the Internet Chat rooms, with my on-line “friends”

When I really should have been out dancing with the 30 something’s I was chatting at home late one Saturday night to someone I hadn’t spoken to before, his name was James from Ireland. After an hour of chatting or so, he asked if he could ring me, to engage in phone sex.

I’ve never been a massive fan of phone sex, always seamed a bit silly and embarrassing but I did it with Ken lots of times because he liked it and it was o.k once you got into it. I seam to recall becoming fairly confident and became quite good at phone sex until this happened.

So I was contemplating allowing James to hear me cum on the phone, like a lot of woman, I find the Irish accent very sexy and I saw the opportunity of hearing his dialogue would bring me of a treat. I could also imagine he is that fit one from Boyzone, I gleefully thought whilst rubbing my pussy.

So James called and it went like this:

James: “So what’s yer neame?”
Jane: “Jane”
James “and where do you cume froom?
Jane: “The Midlands, in England” I added.
James: “What’r you wearing?”
Jane: “Just a little T shirt and a tiny thong”
James: “Umm, sounds grand, what’r you doing noow?”
Jane: “Oh, I’m sitting on my bed, my nipples are peaking through my T’shirt and I feel soooo horny” I whisper.
James: “Are’ye wet? Are you playing with yerself?” he says without any passion in his voice whatsoever.
Jane: “Ummm, would you like me to touch myself? ….. do you have a stiff cock?!”
James: “I, please touch yerself, I want to hear ya pussy squelch dewn tha phoon” he
says completely ignoring my question.
Jane: “Erm ok.. Ohh umm ahhh, I’m playing with my tight little pussy”
James: That’s grand! I want to hear your pussy squelsh, bring tha phoon to your pussy

Strange, I thought, so I kept ignoring what he was saying and continued to wank myself off, until I came quite loudly in his ear pierce.

James “Did you cum good?
Jane “Oh Yes!” I say slightly breathless
James: “Hi Jane, I have something to tell you, you are currently LIVE on a west
Ireland’s pirate radio show” he says all matter-of –fact and radio presenter style. “and do you realise hundreds have tuned in to hear you masturbate?!”
Jane: “Oh FUCK!” and before I could say anymore the phone was dead.

Can you imagine it? I felt sick. I was really appalled with myself and I was extremely angry.

The following Saturday I was out for revenge so I logged into the chat room under a different nick name and soon found James looking for woman to embarrass on his pirate radio show. I soon began flirtatiously chatting with him and in no time at all he gave me his number for the worst phone sex of ones life.

Sexy Sally: “Hi, is his James?”
James: “Erm, I, you know my name?!”
Sexy Sally: “Yeah, can you not remember me? Or maybe you can’t? You came back
to my place last weekend and you were very drunk, so drunk in fact you
failed to get an erection, it wouldn’t had mattered anyway, your cock was the size of cocktail stick and you had a weird thing growing on it”
James: “Uh, EH?
Sexy Sally “Oh and I am pleased I didn’t fuck you, I realised what a fat cunt you are
when I undressed you, you stinky fat fucker.


I then hung up, quite please with myself. A few months later I arranged for my very good friend to print some gay male escort business cards with James’s telephone number on and when I took a city break in Dublin with the girls, I posted them in every telephone box and pub toilet I could find.

After that, I never ventured into chat rooms again or fucked with a stranger on-line, I really learned my lesson. Iv managed to see the funny side now and is always a great topic with my girl friends after a few bottles of wine, after all who else can say they’ve been heard wanking oneself into a frenzied orgasm, by hundreds of West Irish pirate radio listeners?!